Monday, March 31, 2008
For many years I have supposedly had "Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome". Basically it is a hormonal imbalance that causes irregular periods/ovulation, increased weight, difficulty losing weight, increased facial hair, and a few other weird things. I have been unwilling to admit that this is really my problem. I worked very hard to lose 50 pounds for 2 years in weight watchers, thus telling myself that the PCOS was not an issue. I got my periods back with the weight loss, so then I attributed the irregular menstruation to the fact I had allowed myself to pack on so much weight. I then became pregnant, by some miracle. So I figured the PCOS had disappeared or had never existed. Then I was diagnosed with low progesterone during the pregnancy and risked miscarriage. Darn! I thought I had escaped the PCOS stuff. I never thought about the breastfeeding part. I figured it wouldn't happen to me, I had heard rumors in the medical community that women with PCOS had trouble breastfeeding, but to me? Never. Then Will came. I am so frustrated that I can't keep up with his demand. I feel like a failure. And the half formula, half breastfeeding thing is so annoying! I have all the hassles of bottles and formula mixing and the hassle of breastmilk leaking, sore boobs, etc. I have tried fenugreek and that helps a little, but I must say that when the La Leche League says that PCOS women may have to supplement with formula you know it is very serious and real. ( A lot of women call them the Nipple Nazi's because they are so against any bottle feeding) It is hard as a woman to admit that you can't easily get pregnant, you can't deliver naturally, and then after those hurdles you can't even breastfeed properly! I have been able to overcome so many problems in my life that it really frustrates me when I can't. I guess I just need to be happy that I live in the age of formula and Will is still getting a decent amount of breastmilk at each feeding. Breastfeeding is so much easier, the 25 seconds to heat the bottle at 3 am is the longest 25 seconds of your life.