Monday, March 31, 2008

PCOS rant

For many years I have supposedly had "Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome". Basically it is a hormonal imbalance that causes irregular periods/ovulation, increased weight, difficulty losing weight, increased facial hair, and a few other weird things. I have been unwilling to admit that this is really my problem. I worked very hard to lose 50 pounds for 2 years in weight watchers, thus telling myself that the PCOS was not an issue. I got my periods back with the weight loss, so then I attributed the irregular menstruation to the fact I had allowed myself to pack on so much weight. I then became pregnant, by some miracle. So I figured the PCOS had disappeared or had never existed. Then I was diagnosed with low progesterone during the pregnancy and risked miscarriage. Darn! I thought I had escaped the PCOS stuff. I never thought about the breastfeeding part. I figured it wouldn't happen to me, I had heard rumors in the medical community that women with PCOS had trouble breastfeeding, but to me? Never. Then Will came. I am so frustrated that I can't keep up with his demand. I feel like a failure. And the half formula, half breastfeeding thing is so annoying! I have all the hassles of bottles and formula mixing and the hassle of breastmilk leaking, sore boobs, etc. I have tried fenugreek and that helps a little, but I must say that when the La Leche League says that PCOS women may have to supplement with formula you know it is very serious and real. ( A lot of women call them the Nipple Nazi's because they are so against any bottle feeding) It is hard as a woman to admit that you can't easily get pregnant, you can't deliver naturally, and then after those hurdles you can't even breastfeed properly! I have been able to overcome so many problems in my life that it really frustrates me when I can't. I guess I just need to be happy that I live in the age of formula and Will is still getting a decent amount of breastmilk at each feeding. Breastfeeding is so much easier, the 25 seconds to heat the bottle at 3 am is the longest 25 seconds of your life.

1 comment:

Little Blessings said...

La Leche League is full of a bunch of nipple nazi's. Stick with it and do the best you can. Any is better than none and you will always know you gave it the best shot you could!