Am I ?

I was born a worrier. I will die a worrier. Motherhood has not improved this. I worry if he is eating right, is he eating too much, too little? Is he too fat? I don't worry if he is too thin though. Is he getting enough iron? Do I love him enough? Are we bonded enough? Too much? I feel guilty when I feel like I want a hour away from him, after all I wanted this kid. I wept for years over not getting pregnant, and now I am lucky enough to have him and I want to escape? I am realizing that I am not the June Cleaver I thought I would be, if anything I am more like Roseanne. I am not necessarily thrilled by not using my brain all day. I am more than willing to sacrifice my ideal life for the long term well being of my son however. It is so important for me to be home with him, to watch him grow and guide his experiences. I really don't know what I was expecting it to be like all those years I was at work and thinking that this was going to be the ultimate existence. I think I need to "reframe" this situation. Unlike the majority of Mom's here in the US I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to stay home and raise my baby myself. I need to remember that. Maybe I need to take a class...or read challenging literature...or suck it up and quit whining!

Molars....

William is teething his molars and we are having some rough nights around here. He has been waking earlier and very cranky. He seems to have his fingers in his mouth all the time right now and is drooling like a little faucet. It doesn't seem to bother him as much during the day. I am giving him Motrin at night to help the pain, so now we are getting some sleep. Will started pretending to talk on the phone today, it is too cute! He is also getting better at signing and is making more animal sounds. He is walking a lot now, still slow, but getting faster every day. He loves to read, and adores the Teletubbies, much to Jason's irritation! Grandpa Simmons is coming to see William Friday, and then my Aunt Tricia and Uncle Tim are coming Saturday so it will be very busy around here!

One Nap or Two?

Here you see the result of one nap. Will fell fast asleep at dinner tonight. He really, really still needs two, but doesn't seem to be willing to admit it! He can't seem to stay up past 11 am, sleeps 45 min and then is really crabby in the afternoon. I try and put him down at about 3, but he stays in the crib for a full hour playing and hollering. What to do?

Note:Daddy was at Work...

He looks even worse now that it's been a few hours. This morning I said to Jason, "We need to be careful over the next few days because I want to get Will's one year pictures done next week." Famous last words. He was coming back from the park, pushing his little kiddie car, and then decided to let go. He was carefully walking along and BAM!, he face planted into the sidewalk. Poor guy! His nose is all scratched up and his forehead is swollen. I felt so bad for him. So much for the pictures next week!

Tagged

I have been tagged as a creative blogger. I am supposed to name 7 of my favorite things and then tag 7 others....



1. Jason: I met him on a fire escape and I knew he was going to be a very important person to me. We have grown up together and somehow managed to grow closer together while doing it. He is my opposite in so many ways, and yet somehow we work perfectly. He is the nicest person I have ever met, and is the most patient person in the whole world. I truly believe that he was sent to me by God to heal all the pain I lived through prior to my current life.



2. Pudd: William was so wanted. He is the product of so many years of yearning and dreaming. He has filled a void that was in this house and makes everyday so much more fun and exciting! No matter how many kids we have, I suspect that he will always have a extra special place in my heart, he has made me a Mommy, and made us a family!



3. My Mom: My Mama has seen me through the best and worst days of my life. She is one of the first people I seek out for advice, and she is my best friend. She and I have been through a lot together and I know I can count on her for anything. She is the absolute definition of unconditional love and unselfish motherhood.



4. Books: When I was little and we didn't have the resources to buy things very often, there was one wonderful place that I could go. The LIBRARY. There was no limit to how many books I could take home. This was the one place that I could go and load up to my hearts content! Books have always been an escape for me. You could forget about all the harsh reality of life and spend an afternoon making cheese with Ma Ingalls, or exploring a Secret Garden with Mary. Wonderful. It also was a way of opening my eyes to the world that was there, but unseen by me. I could explore countries, animals, cultures, all kinds of things I would have never been exposed to in Siloam Springs, Arkansas.

5. Being a Nurse: I love my job. I love being there for people at pinnacle moments in their lives. I love seeing someone get better, or more recently, get pregnant! I have laughed and cried with so many people, given hope to some, and have had to break devastating news to others. I look forward to getting further education and continuing to care for people for the rest of my life.

6. Cooking and Food: Sadly, it is my friend and foe. I love to cook, and I am good at it. I love to eat what I cook. I love to go out and eat. I derive so much pleasure from good food. I won't eat just anything, it has to be really good. One thing I have learned from weight watchers is that if it isn't really good, it's not worth eating. I hate what over eating has done to my poor body, but I still love food. I LOVE eating food from other countries and then finding out how to make it. We eat lots of food from other countries now in this house, and I love that William already loves curry!


7: Luxury and Appreciating it: I love having the luxury of heat and air conditioning! I love running water, having food, and a car that runs, and more than 3 shirts! I love that William will never know what it's like to be cold all the time, and have an empty fridge. I have been blessed to have these luxuries. And I have been given the gift of knowing what life is like without them.

Tagging:
Julie
Molly
Bridget
Alicia
(That's all...Sam, and Teresa have already done it!)

Back to Baby Gym

The picture pretty much says it all. We had a VERY rough night last night. He slept no more than 2 hours all night in one stretch. I am not sure if it is teething, or ears or what. If it repeats the same tonight I will bring him to the Dr tomorrow. I went ahead and took him to Baby Gym today, but he was only into it for a short time. We only stayed about 45 minutes and then he signed "All Done" and "Bye Bye" so I respected his wishes and we came home for a nap.

Daddy Day

Help Daddy unload the dry diapers...

Then off to the park!

Trying to come down this set of steps resulted in the facial injuries pictured. NOTE: Mommy was at work!

Playtime with Cousins

Today Solon brought the kids over and we had a great time playing. Will showed off his new walking skills quite a bit today. I made us all Mac n Cheese for lunch and we had dessert at Starbucks on the way to the park. We missed Andrea today, she was out of town, but it was great to see the rest of the crew. Gabriela showed off her Monkey impression and Alessandra spent lots of time pretending to be various characters from Cinderella. Very cute!

Neat Eater/Messy Eater and a Pink Hippo

Grandma Sandy sent Will his Pink Hippo Chair and he was so excited and happy to get it back! He has been rolling around on it all evening! He fell in love with this at a consignment shop while we were in Washington so my Mom bought it for him, it seems to be a lifelong friend now!

Messy Day...

Clean Day...

Iron Will...

I am getting so frustrated by the sheer will that William has. He is so determined to do things, but then if you tell him "No" it seems like then he says "Well, Now I HAVE To Do It!" He acts so differently with me vs Jason. He will cling to me all day and strike out at me if I don't comply, and with Jason he will just play and read, and receives "No" non-chalantly. What does this mean and what do I do about it? I give him GOBS of attention all day, but it never seems to be enough. When I finally do have to go do something in the Kitchen he stands at the gate and screams until I either finish or pick him up. Arrgh. He is still struggling with the 2 nap/1 nap thing, which makes this all doubly hard. On a happy note, we received our lease renewal and rent is only going up 50 a month to $1570, and we got our Income Tax refund today! We now can pay off the surgery from that Damn cat we don't even have anymore!

10 things....

A blogger I read frequently did a funny post today. Check it out! All I have to say is "Amen Sister!" http://badladies.blogspot.com/

More Birthday Pictures!

I got a disk of pictures from Sarah today. She came to the party at Bridget's to take pictures and there were some very cute ones of William, and the cousins too. I will post some of Will since Bridget posted the ones of my adorable neices and nephew on her blog, why post twice?

Language Explosion!

All of a sudden William is trying to copy sounds and words! He has also started pointing to have you name things. Often he is way off on the sounds, but he is only one! He makes versions of Cow sounds, Duck sounds, Cat sounds, and Bear sounds. He says "Ba" for anything he can't name, and points. My favorite thing he is doing though is if you are busy, he will grab your hand, open it, and place a book in it, and look up at you and say something in baby speak which must mean "read me this book and put down the phone Mom!" Very cute!

Adoption...

I get so irritated some times with people. Now that I have had one biological kid, some people just don't get why in the world we would want to adopt. They understood when we were facing infertility, but now that I have a "Proven Womb" they have no idea why I would even consider raising children that are not "home grown". I don't get it. Why is there so much value placed on a life I created, instead of one I can take in a whole new direction? Jason and I are still excited to adopt and bring in children who would otherwise end up with a very minimal chance at success in life. Arrgh.

Single Motherhood....

I am alone with Will for the next 3 days. It is really the first time it has ever been just the two of us since he was born! I was dreading the post bath free for all we usually have, but he actually seemed to take pity on me and let me grease him and dress him without too much fuss. He is sick right now with a bad cold and cough, which he probably picked up from the trains at Barnes and Noble which he still insists on mouthing. He has been running a low grade temp, so we will see how much sleep we get tonight. Poor Pudd! Tonight when he was signing "All Done" he actually said "Ah Da" which I am going to interpret as "All Done". We may be able to count on his smarts to support us in retirement after all!

Corned Beef and Consignment

These are the two new faces Pudd makes when he is preparing to try and throw a good fit.

This is the puppy I bought. Note his cloth diaper cover matches the Puppy!

The Cute Rug I scored for 12 bucks!

Will decided to use his music table to climb up into the window sill.

I made our traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage tonight since Jason will be in Pittsburgh for the actual day. It was so good, but I always remember why I never make it. I made 6 lbs and we ate almost all of it today! How naughty! It's so addictive though! Last night was the twice a year Consignment sale I attend here. This time I volunteered to work 4 hours so I got to go in before everyone else and shop. I got this adorable rug, a slide, the blue rocking puppy, puzzles, books, and some really great barely used Stride Right shoes in his upcoming size! I also got the Little People pirate ship, it is adorable! I will take a picture tomorrow for the blog, it is in Pudd's room and he's asleep. Will has been climbing, as you can see. Today he climbed up onto a chair and onto the table. He also climbs into his stroller, and basically anything else he can manage. Tonight he fed himself almost all of a cup of applesauce. Very methodically too. I could tell he was really trying to get it into his mouth rather than just make a mess. This week has also been a big milestone in language, he is getting so good at handing us the right animal when we ask for it, and now he hands you the cow and says "MMMMmm!" So cute! Jason leaves us on Sunday for the conference. I will be a single Mom for the next few days. Worst of all Jason has to take my beloved laptop with wireless. Ugh. Back to the desktop!

Newest Addition to the Blogosphere

I am starting a kids book blog. Mainly, I want to share ideas on new books, since I hate reading the same ones over and over. For each one I suggest I would love if you would comment with one in the same genre that your family likes. Thanks!

My Mommy's Cheaper than Your Mommy!

I was going to buy a Sand/Water table for William for his birthday, but then I looked at them and they were really pricey considering he can't actually play with sand yet. (He eats it) They were also quite tall, they seem to be made for the 2 year old set. So I chucked the idea and bought an underbed storage box, set it on his little Ikea chairs and dumped in a gallon of water. Instant fun for less than 5 bucks!

Costco Intrigues Me...

Saturday I went to Costco to get all the various crap we get there. I enjoy watching what other people have in their carts, and guess what the heck they are going to do with it. I saw a woman that was in one of those wheelchair/scooter things and she had 12 packs of Spam in her basket. Why in the world would anyone want that much Spam? She didn't look Hawaiian. I have heard they have a love for it. I haven't had Spam in at least 20 years. There was also a man with one of those 100 packs of Trojans, a case of water, a 3 pack of Head and Shoulders,and a box of Cheerios. I found that one quite funny. You need the Head and Shoulders to use the Trojans I guess! I will be deleting this one after a few days, since I don't think it should be on here for posterity. Do you watch people at Costco? Do you eat Spam?

One Year Stats

Today was William's one year well visit. He was 31.75 inches long, 25 lbs 14 oz, and had a 49.5cm head circumference. Big Head! He is in the 94th percentile for height, 86th for weight and 97th for head. Dr Rahman was happy with everything, she thinks he will be walking full time within the next month. He got his 4th prevnar today and 4th HIB, so we are now done with those two. Thank goodness! I hate getting his shots! I gave him a lollipop immediately afterward so he was pretty happy on the ride home.

Sale Alert!

I went to Sears yesterday to look at a mattress set and they had all winter/fall Land's End stuff 70% off the LOWEST price! I got Will a coat for next year for 4.90! I got shirts for 2.90, pants for 4.00 and lots of other goodies. I also got pants for me for less than 5 bucks! It was amazing, so get out there and see if your Sears has any great deals for you!

Pictures from Trip